Big, Fat, Crazy pregnant woman.

So, apparently I have lost my mind.

Well it feels like that anyways.  Im pretty used to being extremely efficient, nursing does that to a girl, you either manage 100 things a minute or you quit work, very sink or swim type of mentality. However, in the past week or so, i have noticed that my brain...well it’s foggy.

I put things down and forget ...not like oh yeah i do that too type deal, like I buy something in store, go to the next store, put the bag down to look at something and walk out without picking up the bag of things i had brought into the store. I left my purse at a restaurant, I left movie tickets in the machine thing that prints them, paid for them and left them there, I left my phone at shoppers on the counter,I had to go back to the grocery store 3 times yesterday to get another ingredient for the dinner i planned that morning and had made a list for, and finally, I got out of the shower today without rinsing the conditioner out of my hair.

Now this sounds like someone whos really distracted maybe, but unfortunately for me, im not.  I actually am more chill these days than most before i was pregnant. This is due to, I now know, the fact that i can remember to dwell on things, and cant remember what it was I used to think about all the time. Its pretty blank up there. Leading to things like having enough focus to listen to radio lyrics to a song about a little boy who wants to be like his dad...and sobbing uncontrollably in traffic. Turns out that logic has gone out the window, and emotions are full fledged in charge of this bus called pregnancy: the third trimester.

Although, its okay now that im so flaky/distracted/have the attention span of a goldfish, because now I look VERY pregnant, this lets me get away with almost anything.  This huge protrusion of  a belly that makes it difficult to roll in any direction or get out a car with any sort of finesse, has a magical power of allowing me to act like a complete weirdo, and people just laugh and say nice things to me. Its super.  Most I will get is a shake of a head, a sympathetic sigh and a pat on the belly. And i can be off to make some other stupid mistake, say something that makes no sense, or forget that i didn’t put a bra on that day. Again, without any repercussions.

Also, my credit card has been hit with the reality of this little peanuts arrival. I figured that since Im on board now, that it should also meet the reality of the little squash in my belly. It was a hard lesson for it to learn, but both me and peanut are SUPER excited about things we have now. Even women who aren’t pregnant, or even don’t want to ever BE pregnant, can get on board with baby clothes shopping. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE JEANS MADE FOR A NEWBORN BABY!?!?!

Jake also learned that nesting comes with a price....when he went to get his tab at a pub the other night and found that his credit card was declined....however, once i showed him the fleece winter suit with bear ears...he changed his tune.

Also, something wonderful happened to me last week. My loving friends in Calgary threw me a baby shower. It was the BEST thing about pregnancy so far. They had SO much food, and cupcakes, and pie, and cheeses and beautiful gifts and best of all ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS and love.  It was beautiful. I am surprised i made it through the night without bawling my eyes out like the over emotional fat lady that i am. There was a few times i thought about it...calmed myself down and moved on.  Again, this is proof that pregnancy demands having love of women around you. So far some of my favourite memories of pregnancy so far include women.  Pretty much all of them actually.

Now, i am in the third trimester in..like a week. I am finishing off trimester two, and I must say, its gone pretty well. ..MUCH better than trimester one. I am one of those people that always loved school because i loved being graded, having end and start dates, and knowing when those ends were in sight. SO: 

Trimester one was: March 7^th ish- May 17^th ish

Grade:  C

Although there was significant effort throughout this trimester, I was worked over like none other. I made it through it tooth and nail. It wasn’t ideal. But it was a pass.

Trimester 2: May 20^th ish- August 30^th-ish

Grade: B

Less effort in, but more positive returns out.  Found out sex of baby, narrowed down baby names, bought a crib, and a stroller,  and survived working. Negatively, hips have been bad news bears, slowing down my work efforts, but still none the less, improvement for sure.

Trimester 3: Im expecting big things. Here are the projects for trimester three:

Paint nursery

Set up Nursery

Get fatter

Get the amount of hours needed for EI

Rest before baby comes and make lots of muffins to freeze.

PUSH OUT BABY.

Now, this last project will the trickiest, but i figure that since that will make this entire trimester seem like an A++, since I will have a baby come the end of this trimester...so i will try not to let the birth be a part of of this trimester, it will stand alone for grading.

BIRTH: again. High expectations.  Hard to say how it goes. But im expecting at least an A for effort. And a bottle of expensive wine.

Okay, so theres 9 months laid out. Afterwards I will grade entire pregnancy by averaging.

So far the trend is up, so lets hope that keeps up. However, if i keep forgetting things, trimester three could be significantly hindered by incidents like leaving a bath running and ruining the house. Its all a waiting game.

So back to being pregnant, fat and crazy.