Well hello there, you may not recognize me these days, I’m that huge sweaty lady standing beside you breathing heavier than the guy that just ran a marathon, and holding her back/belly/ hips like an 80 year old woman when bending, sitting, standing....overall just existing. That’s me. Doesn’t look much like the old me I know...remember that girl? Man. She was fun. And much skinnier. And way better to invite out for a night of mayhem. These days, my mayhem nights are nights where me and Jake stay up until Eleven....on a weekend night....
Jake has somehow adopted my attitude as well. He’s surprised when we stay up past nine thirty at night and almost more tired by the end of the day than I am. Some may speculate its due to the fact that he has to deal with me being pregnant all day long....but id ont even feel bad for him. If he thinks being AROUND me being pregnant is exhausting, well try BEING me while pregnant...I make myself crazy pants...with hysterical crying listening to country music, sudden onsets of depression when trying on my clothes, bizarre laughing fits that turn into me crying, and just trying to do everything I used to do when I wasn’t pregnant ....i used to be a great multi tasker....these days multi tasking looks more like me starting alot of things and then sitting down on the couch with a glass of milk instead of finishing anything.
Which then leads to emotional moments when I find that I haven’t finished anything I started that day...
Who is this strange person I have become?
Even my mom noticed how boring I am these days...it says something when I cant even stay up to ten pm to finish watching greys anatomy with my mom on the couch because im just done with that day. ..again...who is this person?
And also? Where did my feet go?
Walking down any form of staircase is super tricky. Its almost a cruel joke, I hav eto lean forward to see the next step, but me leaning forward means giving into the huge amount of weight that has suddenly popped up in front of me, making me lose balance. So I pretty much hold on to anything near by while walking these days. Including Jake.
And, I can feel little limbs inside me. Pushing against me and rolling around and, well to be honest, they push back when I push on them to get them out of my ribcage. Doesn’t this baby know I need my ribs for breathing and functioning? And hello, my lungs are under there...and breathing is already tricky so...
Me and this little guy are going to go over some serious anatomy lessons when he’s out.
HOWEVER, I have decided that I have a new career up and coming. It is nursery decorating...although it makes me sad to think some mom out there wouldn’t want to decorate her own nursery for her little baby...she would be one of those really rich moms that just wants to show her friends her vera Wang mobile and fendi crib bumper. Judged. So maybe this isn’t a career I would be into.
Although, I am pretty impressed by my little nursery. And I think that the baby will like it. Although I don’t really think he cares...I’ve learned, and Jake has learned that nurseries are more for the mom to be than for the baby. Since he can barely even see as a newborn I don’t know if he will truly appreciate the beautiful tree wall decal I’ve bought for him ...and me. I think that also my new sobriety has lead to more creativity....that’s the only reason I can come up with for my new found interest in thank you card making and scrapbooks. However, I will gladly give up this new found creative side of my brain for wine again in 7 weeks.
Me and Jake also have our prenatal class coming up. That should be more that interesting. I accidentally bought jake a book to help him prepare for the event that I will call “the big show” (this is when the baby the size of a watermelon will come out of me), I now regret this decision. Jake started reading it last night. ..since then I have had numerous tasks and recommendations by Jake via the book about how to make labour easier.
Jake literally wants me to do squats with him everyday. Squatting is something that at this point in my pregnancy...and at this WEIGHT im at, I think a solid squat will just straight up push the baby out accidentally. He also has already started lecturing me about drinking during labour, and how I am “not allowed to get mad” when he tells me I need to drink.
Let me make this clear. At some point during the big show , where I AM THE MAIN EVENT, and the baby is the big star, Jakes needs are going to be lost in the mess. Even if Jakes needs are to make sure Im drinking enough, or whatever. I have a strong feeling there will be a point where Jake wants to tell me something else he learned about how I can cope better and I will accidentally punch him. I wont mean to, but I have a feeling it will feel like life and death at that point, and nobody can be held responsible for their reactions at a time like that.
Again. We will see where this book takes mine and Jakes relationship. We only have to push through the next 7 weeks....lets all send happy thoughts to my huge belly, my already stressed out baby doorway, and Jakes wellbeing.
Nursery Love to Follow :)
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