Hugeness.

Pictures of the Enourmity, since I have a feeling that nobody is really believing me....so when I say Im heavy breathing trying to get out of bed, or out of cars, or up from the couch...im serious. If you had this attached to you, you would be panting like an animal too.
I am officially on sebatical from work for the next 12 days as well, I instead will be writing blogs, reading, and making cinnamon buns. Quite enjoyable i must say.
I also dont get to see Jake for the next 2 weeks, meaning he may not even recognize me when he sees planets orbiting me two weeks from now....i can only assume thats what is about to happen any day now.

anyways, again, enjoy your baby free bodies ladies...one day this is going to happen to you too....and its going to make you wish you had appreciated your unstretched unscathed body that much more.

The Name Game.

So there’s the name issue. What to name this little person that is now big enough to literally push against me in every direction at once, that’s how little space i have left in my belly. Jake felt him last night, pushing against me, perhaps trying to convince me to get up since i was on my side, and Jake has felt him before, but never like this, this kid was trying to break out of my uterus ...thank god hes not smart enough yet to know where the door is...

Either way Jake freaked out,

“you feel this all the time?! This is insane...”

Tell me about it. The other day i was sitting on the floor cross legged leaning (as much as possible) forward and he kicked me/pushed me and my boob moved.  There’s that much effort there. So maybe he will be a tough little thing.

Anyways,  i have 9 weeks to name this baby.  Holy cow does time ever fly. I can say that now because its so close, and its becoming startling obvious that there IS a baby in me, and that either he’s  going to be coming out soon, or I’m going to explode.  To be honest, its probably a combination of both, he IS coming out AND im going to explode.  Yikes.

I am sitting here writing this and feeling this little baby in there pushing my laptop away. Not bumping it, pushing on it. So I have recently started pushing back...I have a feeling this is how our relationship will be once he’s a teenager, he will push the boundaries and limits I set and I need to start learning how to push back at some point. This is the easiest way to start. Also, its a little alarming that he responds to me now...Im thinking its some kind of knee I’m pushing back on...which also...kind of alarming.

Anyways, I have to name this baby. I think that’s what I had been talking about....

So theres lots of concerns when naming a baby....things you don’t really think about until you LITERALLY have to name one ...not just theoretically speaking. I always used to think i just KNEW the names i would choose because at that point, its easy, since there was no human growing in me that literally needed a name in 9 weeks.

SO the issues are as follows:

1.Do you like it? 

Theres lots of names that are strong good names for boys, but you have to actually like the name, you have to like how it sounds . Does it only sound good when you say it in reference to someone else or does it sound like something you want to name your unborn child? Do you want to say it for the rest of your life in reference to your family?  Does it sound good when you say it happily and when you sternly use it? Cause with a little boy that may be super important when he has decided to mix dirt into your cookie dough batter.

2. Did you ever date/know/hate someone with that name?

This doesn’t seem that huge, because to you, you’re like, well i wouldn’t choose a name that was attached to someone i had some negative feelings towards, so we’re safe there. However, you are forgetting that you didn’t get pregnant alone. Theres that guy that owns half that baby too involved and he also has known like 500 people in his life, so when you combine them, you get messy. Say youve met like 500 people in your life, chances are you haven’t been pumped on at least 25% of them, either you didn’t like them, or you did like them but they aren’t people you could ever name your child after. So theres like 125 people with names you don’t like for sure. OR you have people in your life you adore, but its weird to name your baby after that person, like your good friends, so there's another say 15% of people you adore, so you cant really use their name as the first name of your baby. So theres another 75 names you don’t want to use because they are too involved/relevant in your life. Now combine that 200 names with the 200 names your husband also has in his book and you have just elimated like 400 names. ( okay so this may be slightly dramatic but you get the point) This again, limits the name game.

3. Whats in a name?

So you both have found a name that is sounding like you are finally on the right track...and then you look up what it means. Say, Sawyer? Sounds good, okay so lets see what it means...

“Man who Saws Wood”

Hm. Well thats not very powerful. And kind of disappointing.  Okay so say you like the name Mason:

“Bricklayer” or “Man who lays Brick”

Again. Not exactly the meaning of the name I would like for my new baby....However, I am a nurse and I have hammered with the CRITICAL THINKING side of things...so instead, i will search meanings and choose my babies name from there....

Okay so lets search for names that mean good things...like Strength:

Armstrong

Dureau

Bernard

......hm. well....this isn’t ideal either...

Okay so names that mean Peaceful:

Korey

Wilfredo

Fred

.....This isn’t working either.

There you go, some examples of how annoying it can be to choose a name for a child that you haven’t met and don’t want to doom to a life of sawing wood or laying bricks simply because you liked how it sounded....

However, that being said, this cant be that relevant since lots of people name their babies names that sound awesome, LIKE sawyer and say to hell with what it means, its my kid and he will make his name his own.  I need to be more like that. That would make things easier for sure. And the worst part is that i AGREE with that logic, so why I cant apply this to naming my own baby is bizarre.

4.  Middle names

So you have chosen a nice name for your baby. Say its John.  So what is Johns middle name? It has to flow you know. Sigh.  So you can do a one syllable first name with a two syllable middle name like John Michael.  But John Jack...or John Sean...or John Chad....doesn’t sound so awesome. Or a long first name like Alexander, with a short middle name like Alexander John....it gets complicated.

AND are you going to use a name that’s in your family? Are you going to middle name the baby with someone’s name? And how do you choose which name? Or what if all the family names have been used? Do you just use a name you like the sound of? Or do you choose one from you or your husband? AGAIN more confusion.

5. So say you get through ALL these things... you find the perfect name and everything is great, and you live in a world of simplicity and wonderment....but then you meet the baby. He has blue eyes instead of brown, and a smile that doesn’t quite say Michael John Smith to you....he seems more gentle than competitive....he is calm instead of rowdy....so now your perfect world has crashed around you because the perfect name you chose, doesn’t suit the perfect baby you just met.

This is what will happen to me i think.

So you see my predicament. I have learned to never judge what people name their kid because man...it sucks to figure out.  And i kind of envy the parents that just say forget it, im naming this baby and thats that. I also think that just because you have opinions about names, you don’t really get to have opinions in naming someone else’s baby, since as i have clearly pointed out, its tricky work.

So far we do have some names figured out, we have like 4 on the table. But chances are good that come that day in November, I will be overly emotional and decide that his name will be something crazy like Arnie...or Archie.

Or maybe he will come out and just tell me his name. That would be both awesome and super helpful.

Im banking on the fact that once i meet him his name will become pretty clear. And if not, Jake will do it.

To my Bear Cub...

Dear Unborn Baby/  Bear cub.

I feel its important for us to talk about how this next 20 years is going to go. If we get it all out now..and by we i mean me, then you  don’t get to talk back or tell me your opinion and I get to just tell you my thoughts while you listen.

I have a feeling this is one of the only points in our lifelong relationship that I have your undivided attention. Im literally the only one you hang out with and know. So lets chat.

First of all. You are coming into t he world pretty soon.  and that is care of mommy and her special area. Lets make this be as easy as possible shall we? I doubt birth is ideal for you too, theres alot of squeezing and things going on for you, so lets make sure the pace is fast, and that you just cooperate with whatever my body is trying to do and come on out when my uterus starts telling you its time. That would be great.  Because chances are Momma is gonna be trying to convince herself that you could just continue to live in my belly forever to avoid the inevitable...so its best you are board with the plan.

Secondly. Im pretty sure that Im going to be WAY too in love with you. Now, this will be ideal for you while you are little and sweet and obsessed with everything mom, but come those teen years/adult years, keep in mind this mentality will probably not change...and you will need to start learning patience early, I would apoligize for this but lets be honest, its my right to love you too much.

Third.  Your dad is going to go out of his way to make you like boy things all the time i bet.  Like football and tools and everything Canucks. Ive made peace with this since you are a baby boy and lets face it you were bound to learn about these things sometime. However, I would like to put my two bits in about this.  Sunday football day is something we can accommodate as long as you still give me hugs on Sundays and bake cookies with me on other days. I don’t think this should be a tough sell since being my son you will probably thouroughly enjoy cookie dough and milk dunking as much as me. 

(awaiting the gasp that usually comes from moms  who would NEVER let their kids have uncooked cookie dough)

(Im doing it.)

I have also made my own sort of peace t hat you are going to want to be like Jake. Hes a pretty neat guy most of the time, and for the most part I would be nothing short of thrilled if you turned out to be even half the guy he is, however, i do have some bullet points that should be addressed:

I don’t finish the bottom of drinks-never have never will- do not side with him on this.

Its okay to use toothpaste and not put the lid back on, people survive this and can live happy lives despite a messy toothpaste situation so don’t believe everything your father tells you.

Mommy likes true blood and private practice and nothing daddy says will change that.

Mommy  hates spiders and daddy kills them for her: this will be a tradition that will passed on to you. There will be no “therapy” for mommy to get over her fears, you both are going to be men about  it and just deal.

AND, if mommy wants to learn to crochet or is crocheting at some point throughout your life, its not because she is old, its because she is broadening her horizons, and damn it its better than picking up smoking.

However, if at some point mommy starts wanting to learn to scrapbook, we all have cause for concern.

Fourth. I am having a hard time with the day that you will be able to run and fall down, and get stung by bees, and fight on playgrounds, and drive and get speeding tickets, and drink and kiss girls. Yes its years away, but im almost 7 months pregnant now, getting very horomonal and have worked really hard to make you, and the idea of you damaging the (what im assuming will be) masterpiece of a child I am making you into really stresses me out. So lets be careful out there, and when you are about to do something stupid just think about my face judging you when i find out what it was you did.

AND think of the 4 months of pure vomit, and what im only assuming hours of pain and torture i endured to get you here.

Five. Don’t hang out with losers. And by losers i don’t mean the kid at school that is really smart, cause that kid is going places, i mean the kids that bring 100 dollar bills for pizza pockets at school, smokes pot cause it makes him “smarter”, owns his own boat the same year that every other kid gets a bike and wears cologne at age 9. I hate that kid.  And I will prove to you that these kids go no where at a later date in time. 

Six. You and me are doing the sex talk for the most part. Jake will be there yes, but his version of the sex talk is mostly for his entertainment at your uncomfortableness and his need to give you a talk that should be aired on some early evening sitcom. Mine is going to be the real deal, and you are going to just hate it. But, mine is the one that will save you the trip to the doctor cause your pee is burning or some girl got pregnant even though the pull and pray is “like totally effective if you do it right...” hells no, we are going over the big picture in moms talk.  And yes, i will be bringing a pregnant woman to this talk.

So so far, this is what i would like covered. I think each year of your life i will add an addendum  though, Since i have yet to meet you and find out what i really should be afraid of in the years to come, its only fair that i keep adding to the mix.

Anyways, I will get back to baking you and you can get back to kicking me in the ribs and getting hiccups when im trying to sleep on my break in the hospital on night shifts and we will be a big happy family in November when you arrive and mommy can have a glass of wine again.

All the love in the world.

Soon to be momma bear.