Impatience and pregnacy dont mix.

So, to add to the beauty that is pregnancy, here’s something else they don’t tell you so much about “bearing life”, you fart all the time. Yes yes, it’s not something you should say out loud if you are a “lady” but I however, am no lady, I’m a pregnant woman. So I’m gonna say it and you’re gonna let me. All this farting has led me to have very awkward work moments where I slowly back out of rooms while patients are telling me something, rolling backwards on a chair away from the doctor asking me about which order I wanted, and over all, finding small parts of the hospital that I can sneak to and fart in without people noticing. Yep, Gross. But if your intestines were getting pushed up and into your diaphragm and all around this cantaloupe sized object in your belly, you’d be gassy too. So drop the judgement.

It’s this constant rumbling in my tummy that makes it really difficult to distinguish what might be the onion knocking on my oversized uterus to say hello. Oh wait, the onion is now a sweet potato. That’s harder to say though, so let’s just go with potato. That’s funnier anyways. As I was saying, the potato should be making me aware of its existence pretty quick here, and this is something I am looking forward to. AND also panicking about. I mean it’s not like this is something I will be totally cool with...it will be a little human inside my belly moving around and bumping into me that I FEEL. Unfortunately, for those of us that have the sad duty of throwing up pretty consistently throughout the majority of pregnancy, other than the vomit, there’s nothing THAT tangible about pregnancy. It’s all pretty theoretical. Even the fat could be attributed to too many aero bubbles, freezies and cheese whiz. (not combined). But FEELING A LITTLE POTATO inside you? Now that’s about as real as its going to get (aside from meeting the little potato some day in November). And since I am way over eager to find out what the sex of this little potato is, I’m hoping I get a knock from it soon so I can calm down and just appreciate what’s going on inside me without going crazy counting down the hours to our “gender determination” appointment. Sigh.

Friends of ours and my cousin have all found out what they get to have, and I’m SO excited/ and jealous also that they get to know what’s growin in there. I’m like 90% happy for them and 10% jealous. Jake may disagree and say it’s more split since our conversation on Thursday before work went like this:

“JAKE”

“yes madi”

“IM SO annoyed I don’t get to know what’s in my belly”

Laughs. “of course you are”

“I’m serious, I’m frustrated, and today is just another stupid day I have to wait through, stupid BC making me wait”

“I have no doubt in my mind you would drive to Calgary if you thought they would give you an appointment today”

“I would”

“I know”

“You’d judge me though”

“you bet I would”

“If you had said you wouldn’t judge me I would have gotten in the car, but now I’m not going to”

Sigh. My lack of patience is really shining through with pregnancy.

I go so back and forth about pregnancy being SOO long and having to wait and wait and wait for all the fun things, but then when I step back from my impatience being a huge barrier, I realise that 9 months isn’t very long at all....to go from just living life to being someone’s mother. Yep overwhelming. Like everyone else is starting to think about doing their Christmas shopping early...and I’m thinking about birth plans. (which is pretty much...get the baby out, save my vageene as much as possible, the less casualties the better). Isn’t that bizarre? It is to me. So okay, I’ve calmed myself down. I guess I can wait another 12 days to find out the sex of the baby....Now I feel like I was overreacting...oh well.

 Such is life of being JUST behind everyone else you know that’s preggo. I am beyond delighted that I get to start buying little beautiful boy blue things for people though. And trains and cars and planes. I have a nephew so I know the deal on boy awesomeness. And awesome boy toys.

I just farted again.

No baby movement that time.

Or maybe that was it. Who knows. Well I guess lots of people do...psh. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient......