Trimester one=Hate.

So once you’re pregnant, accidentally or on purpose, you get to experience the “magic” of your first trimester. I have relabled trimester one as “the hate”, theres justifiable reasons for this though. Believe you me. Or ask Jake.

So the baby sets up camp, its actually just an “embryo” at this point, seems harmless enough, i mean you’re not fat yet, you don’t feel things moving around inside you that doesn’t consist of the Mexican food you ate earlier that night  and you can still wear your expensive jeans. HOWEVER, when that embryo (which later becomes fetus) starts setting up camp, nailing down the tent, putting out the sleeping bag, your body, or MY body turned into a pure state of revolt. The war had started...and the peanut inside me won ALL month long.

First of all, I was exhausted. I was not just tired, i was EXHAUSTED. Something 12 hour night shifts don’t coincide well with. Especially as a nurse, where you listen to people complain alot, my patience was at an all time low. Again. Ask Jake.

But being exhausted all the time is one thing. What led me to rename the first trimester to “the Hate” was the morning sickness. Now to start, whoever EVER titled this “morning sickness” I want to kick the ass of. That is the FARTHEST thing from what this was. My body hated me, and I hated it right back. We literally were in a full fledged war, and the casualties were many. Including my dignity.  Throwing up in the morning is one thing. What i had happening was another. Here was my TYPICAL day:
wake up

Throwup

Lay on the couch to settle my stomach

Try juice and crackers for breakfast

Throw up

Go back to bed

Get up feeling improved, eat lunch

Throw up some of it

Go to safeway to find something that looks like you COULD keep it down

Throw up the rest of lunch IN the safeway

Come home

Smell the apples that are on the counter

Dry heaving until i pulled a muscle

Jakes home

Dinner- consisting of tomato soup and half a sandwich

Tell jake about my day (jake makes sad face)

Go to bed

Get back out of bed, throw up, back into bed.

And thats what my life was like until the doctor told me that throwing up 5-6 times a day was potentially medically dangerous. And gave me what we call the miracle medication:

Diclectin: *cue the hallelujah song and birds

My life improved significantly once i was taking Diclectin, however, i still was throwing up about 3 times a day maybe two on good days all through april. And for someone to say that good days were throwing up twice a day....well i hope that just proves that april...was hell.

So trimester one was like waking up after you drank for 3 days straight, had the worst hangover, could barely get out of bed, and when you did you were throwing up...and the whole time you’re thinking “ maybe i should be in a hospital..this doesn’t seem quite right.” Except that at least in that situation you had a fun night prior. Imagine that hangover day, Everyday, until you are finally given the gift of trimester two.

Yeah. It sucked. So for every mothe/preggo out there who only had the nausea a bit, I was wishing i was you every step of the way, and be forever thankful that your body/ your peanut and your head were all on the same page, and the war that was morning sickness all day everyday didnt take hold of your body and life.

 And because i don’t know what it would be like to be able to lead a normal life the first 10 weeks of a pregnancy from weeks 6-10, I will NEVER understand how people tell other people, other pregnant people, how wonderful pregnancy is.

I for one, that entire first trimester couldn’t get my head around why people get pregnant on purpose. The logic just wasn’t there.

But now that “the Hate”  is over, and the realization that Im going to get my own little madi/jake Halfling the size of a watermelon...well..that makes it seem worthwhile...again, NOW THAT ITS OVER....i can say that.