I read an article today that hit home for me, I know it did because Im apparently “with child” as noted by my ever enlarging gut/belly. However, me and onion baby still have not had a moment where I know its there other than the gas and the gut...and sometimes im very aware of the fact that it doesn’t know that Im here either, I mean if it did, maybe it would say, you know, enough of all the crazy horomones, lets let the big host momma not throw up more often, Im set. However, I do notice it also when im work alot....sciatica and hugely intense pulling and stretching in my pelvis lead to believe i MUST be growing an onion in there. This body just doesn’t belong to me anymore. Its strange.
However, Im off tangent. I read this article by Naomi Lakritz in the Calgary herald online. (check it: http://digital.theprovince.com/epaper/viewer.aspx) A friend of mine posted it that has children and believes this woman is hitting the nail right on the head as well. I was both appalled and impressed by what this woman had to say, I mean its hard to be the brunt of a rant, and this woman is blaming society for those shitty kids that tell their mom to shut the f*** up and riot in Vancouver after they lose a hockey game. I DISTINCTLY remember seeing teenagers and 20ish year old kids just jumping in and kicking in windows, screaming and high fiving while cars were lit on fire, spitting at cops and being just all around assholes (excuse the language, but come on). I remember watching these kids specifically on the news and thinking, who in the HELL do you think you are? If that was my kid I would be both ashamed and outraged, I don’t even know what kind of punishment you give a kid who degrades humanity. I mean a lie is something you know how to discipline for, but when you have the kid that straight up thinks that it’s appropriate to show the worst side of human nature and lose every inch of dignity that they had just to look cool on TV to their other brainless teenage friends....I’m stuck.
Lakritz in Calgary though, she’s got the right idea. It shouldn’t be something you ever discipline for because it should NEVER happen. In the article (which I’m hoping you read) it talks about how kids and adults worlds are ever separate, that learning is ALWAYS fun, and that if it isn’t fun, your children shouldn’t have to be a part of it. This IS the problem. It’s so clear now that she has stated that fact. I wasn’t the best teenager but I for sure was eons and eons away from the kids that swore at their parents, did what they wanted no matter who got hurt and felt entitled to the world. Respect is something that is just gone in most kids today, and that terrifies me being a pregnant person. What kind of onion is my baby going to be? It’s difficult because I know how technology is just so immersed in society, making it hard to not give your kids the cell phones they can talk on when they are nine and waiting for you to pick them up from school, the game boys they can play on in church, the play station they can take to grandma’s house when you go over for coffee. It’s EVERYWHERE. It’s even in the car on the way to grandmas. Terrifying.
I remember, I LITERALLY remember staring out the windows on 12 HOUR drives to vacation with my family, and we all went together, we all sat in the car while my dad put on tapes about how to improve our memory, or listen to CBC radio....and while its hilarious to tell those stories now, 4 kids crammed into a van with a dog in the middle, towing a tent trailer, listening to memory improvement tapes (there were like 15) and then having my dad turn them off and ask us what we got out of that tape. It was brutal. But now, it’s a hilarious memory, and it’s a family memory, it wasn’t us watching Shrek, while my parents both drove and played on their I phone. If you didn’t want to participate with your family, then you stared out the window, but you sure as hell were in that car, and you sure as hell were going to learn some patience in the mean time.
Kids need to be immersed into the parts of being a kid, and being an adult, that aren’t fun. But are extremely important. Taking your kids to funerals, so they can learn about life and death, to learn to feel that tangible pain in the air when someone loved is lost, and to just KNOW that it’s not the time to ask for a cookie , that their world is a PART of the larger picture, not separate. They need to learn that sometimes learning is about patience and perseverance, because once college hits, those teachers aren’t eager to please you and engage you, you either learn or you fail. And to me, that’s the same lesson they need to know about life, you either learn, or you struggle. You learn the social cues, you learn the need for patience and understanding, you learn the hard lessons so the easy ones are more noticeable, and more appreciated.
I played outside after school, as so many people my age can say. We went camping in the bush and crammed into a tent trailer instead of a hotel or a 5th wheel. Our friends came over for dinner so my parents could meet them, and I went to people’s houses to meet their families, and I used my manners, knew my place as a KID and not in any way a boss, in either another persons, or my own home. I got dropped off at my grandparents for a week every summer with my brother, and we played games in the yard, went for walks, went to the pool and helped my grandparents in the garden. No saga at grandmas.
My parents did the best they could, and our family turned out really well, and so I’m hoping that same mentality will transfer to raising my own family, that we will do our best and hope for the best. But I sure as hell am taking them to funerals, to watch their siblings soccer games without a game boy, and to grandmas with nothing but a smile and the eagerness to make banana bread with her.
Thanks Nadine, You’ve both terrified me and enlightened me. Just one more thing to add to my list of terrifying things to come once onion arrives....pregnancy leads to worry/fretting over impossibly far away things. I won’t even get INTO the debate about which school year to put the onion into..
Anyways, the article really made me think, and I wanted to share it, and my hugely exaggerated fears that the onion is in there already with this super high need for technology and stimulation other than mom and dad’s funny faces...
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