Pregnancy leads to one absolute need in a woman’s life. This is something I am both sure about, and would recommend to other women in a second the moment they say “I missed my period”. Its not a big secret, but its something you wouldn’t think about initially, I mean lets be honest, initially, the most important thing you need is an ativan and a glass of wine to prepare you for the next 9 months.
HOWEVER, this one absolute need is this: other women. Now to be fair, you also need a supportive husband, a healthy family support system, multi vitamins, and a nice doctor who can ease you through the whole pregnancy process. But at the end of the day, having other women around you, can make the difference between an emotional breakdown and a ‘lets go buy baby clothes’ kind of day. They don’t necessarily have to be pregnant women, just anyone that has a vageene pretty much. This is because, in my opinion, women are emotionally tuned in to other women, they CAN sympathize because either they have been through it, are in the midst of it, or fear/can imagine it happening to them one day. Men cant say that. It just aint the same difference. Telling your husband that you’re feeling self conscious about your ever enlarging breasts gets a response like “ isn’t that a perk of pregnancy?” or “I love it”. Tell a woman that, and she CAN sympathize with that concern. Tell your husband you think an episiotomy is the end of the world, he says “episy what?” you explain. He looks horrified. You tell another woman, and the concern they have for both your, and her vagina, is very real. And so you get the picture.
I have found that throughout this entire process, the best days I have, the best weeks I have are ones where I get to spend time with other women, chat with other women, and complain to other women. Jake is a great support all the time, always trying to find things he can do to make me feel better, more supported, more loved, but at the end of the day, sometimes all a woman wants, is another woman. *cue dirty comment about lesbianism here*
But anyone who has had any form of close female friend knows how wonderful that is, because women are eager to form connections to people, whether its to fall in love, or to make lasting friendships with that woman they just met at the supermarket. We want to tell someone that we hate the color of our hair, or love the new bag we just bought, or dream about True Blood episodes. We love to learn about what makes each other happy, what makes each other sad, and what EXACT moment you knew you were in love with that guy you’re dating/married to. We are nesters, which to me means, that we love to make homes, not just physical homes, but homes in other people. Im sure you all know you have a woman or two that has a nest in your heart too, and chances are you’ve been able to make yourself a home, a comfy little nest inside someone else too, because either you are a woman who has made a home in another woman, or a man who has been allowed to make a comfy place inside some wonderful lady you’re with or know.
HENCE, pregnant women, who are in desperate need all the time of emotional “pig outs” so to speak or love-in sleep overs, need other women around to escape to, and to feel normal with. We’re desperate for it. And if you are pregnant and haven’t been around women much in the past few months, go find one you love and see how much your mood improves. It can be your mom, your sister, your friends, both pregnant and non pregnant, your cousins, your mother in law, your sister in law, your aunt, your co worker, or even the lady at the farmers market who wants to know when you’re due. Just find one and soak in the huge difference that being around a woman, someone who is also interested in making you a home in them and making a home in you, will make in your day.
Yes, Men , when they are a good one, are wonderful, and supportive. I do admit that in my life I wouldn’t make through each and every day of this pregnancy without that guy I have bringing me treats home after work every afternoon, hugging me through the bad days, and making me laugh on the good ones, but that being said, an afternoon with a woman in your life that you love? Hugely awesome.
So to all the women I adore in my life, You’re wonderful, and you make every day of this 9 months just a little easier, and I cannot be more grateful. And neither can Jake for that matter.
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